Field Spotted In Greystones

Even on a misty, wet Wednesday, it was a sight to behold…

A field, untouched, unfettered and overgrown, and with ne’r a planning permission application in sight.

Right in the heart of Greystones.

When news broke of this miraculous discovery late this afternoon, there were many who dismissed the notion of a field in the town as a mere apparition. A fever dream of a time gone by, when fields could be found roaming freely around Greystones. By the time a crowd had gathered at the Chapel Road acre site – situated at the top of Kenmare Heights – in the late afternoon, such skepticism soon turned to incredulity.

“I thought those days where you could just stumble across a field, as innocent and untouched as the day it was born, were long gone,” wheezed one stunned – and very out of breath – local, Nick O’Teen. “It’s just incredible to see the long grass, the wonderful weeds, the unkempt, carefree hedges…”

As the man left, he grabbed a handful of redshank weed to bring home to his mistress, May O’Nays. “It fair brings a tear to the eye,” he sighed before departing.

The reaction down at Wicklow County Council’s planning department was slightly less tranquil, as staff scrambled to find out just how a field in the heart of Greystones had managed to slip through their hands.

“We can only put this down to a computer error,” said one exasperated staff member, who wished to remain blameless. “There’s just no other explanation for it. Even the thickest Wicklow County Council worker knows how valuable land is in Greystones right now, and to just leave it lying there, ripe as bejaysus, without having at least four developers scrambling over it, is just fierce shocking altogether.”

An examination of the field by curious locals uncovered what appeared to be the beginnings of a building foundation, the remnants of a dig approximately two feet in diameter clearly visible beneath the long grass and weeds.

Wicklow County Council issued a statement this evening, saying that they were very much aware of the hole in the field, and that they had deployed three men to look into it.