“Right, the name’s Junior, I’m a strikingly handsome cocker spaniel, poodle mix, I’m nine months old, and, yeah, I love Greystones, blah, blah, blah.
“I’ve read the previous entries in this thing, and I know we dogs have to get all ‘Greystones is great’ happy here – so, let’s get that out of the way, pronto. Hooray for Greystones! Hooray for the beach! You’re the best!
“Only, I’m not so sure that you are the best. I think, in fact, that quite a few of you Greystonians might be mad. Certifiably mad. Because, good people of Greystones, I’ve got something of a conundrum when it comes to walking your streets.
“Riddle me this, my fat friends – as you can see, my pet here, Valerie, has all the features of a human. All the fine features of a human, at that. So, how come, whenever she’s busy chatting, or on the phone, whatever, I keep hearing passers-by calling her a fox?! What the hell is that about?
“Unless I missed something in biology class, Val here, and her sister, Karen, are very much females of the human variety – so, I’m not really sure what’s in the water down here in Greystones, but, you’d think guys would be able to tell the difference between homosapiens and either mammals of the family Canidae. Jeez!
“So, yeah, I think you guys might be more than a little crazy. And I can see the wolf whistles aimed at me are getting to Val too. So, guys, cut it out. I’ve got feelings, you know. And really sharp teeth.”