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“I’m Billie, the older, better-looking one, and this is my partner in crime, Coco. We’re 10 and 8 years old, and therefore know our way around Greystones as this stage.
“So, not entirely sure why this woman, Sam, and her two pets, Laura and Cathy, think they have to tag along each and every time we head down to the seafront.
“We mainly come down here for the swimming, in The Cove, of course – which is pretty much what doggie heaven must look like. You’re deep down in the hole, the waves are bashing up against you, and there are so many rocks to pee on, it’s not even funny.
“So, yeah, me and Coco have decided we’ll stick around here. Greystones is one swell place for a dog.
“Now, if we could just shake off these three hangers-on…”