The Three People Not Invited To D-Ha’s Wedding ‘Gutted’

It’s being touted as Greystones’ wedding of the season – if not the year – and pretty much everyone and their dog is going to the reception this evening.

Everyone, that is, except for three lonely Greystonians who simply weren’t invited.

“We are feckin’ gutted, to say the very least” said one of the three, who wish to remain anonymous. “The town is going to be empty tonight. Just us three. Walking around like headless chickens, trying to find the party…”

One of the town’s most popular couples, Denise and Hadrian naturally had a long guest list when it came to their big day. But not quite long enough, it would seem, to squeeze in every single person within a 5-mile radius.

“I ask you, if you’ve already got over 10,000 people crammed into your back garden, would three more lost souls really make a difference?” asked the second of the local stooges left off the list. “I’m house-trained, I would have brought me own booze, I’m a good dancer, and something of a wit. As our my two mates here.

“Basically, we would have been an asset to Denise and Hadrian’s party,” interjected the third lonely soul. “Unlike some eejits who did make the cut. Have you seen the guest list on Facebook? It’s not so much a Who’s Who of Greystones as a Who Cares?”

Despite their disappointment at not being invited, all three disgruntled Greystonians wanted the Guide to point out that they nonetheless wished the happy young couple all the best on their big day.

“There’s a good chance we’ll find them tonight, given that their wedding reception is going to be the only real noise in town for miles,” they concluded, “but, just in case we don’t, we’d like to wish Denise and Hadrian all the very best for the future.

“Oh, and we’d like to put our names down now for the divorce party. Good to have something to look forward to later in the year…”