Tired Of Being Home Alone?

Welcome to Bandit country…

ntil that glorious and highly unlikely day when The Ormonde reopens its doors (we just need someone with a million quid to throw away), it’s good to know that there is still somewhere to go in Greystones for the full cinema experience.

In fact, with The Whale, you not only get your larger-than-life screen and surround sound, but there’s also the little matter of a full bar and waiter service right to your table.

Which can add at least two stars to any movie out there. Even Taffin.

And right now, with a busy line-up of acclaimed 2023 films and certified classics catering for the town’s adults (more of which here), The Whale have just announced a new monthly Sunday slot for the Greystones Kids Film Club.

With Halloween already a hit, and Christmas also covered, the line-up for the rest of 2023 comprises of…

SUN10DEC23 1PM Home Alone (USA G 106mins)I
It’s perhaps surprising given that it’s one of the most-loved Christmas movies ever, Home Alone (PG/103mins) is basically one snow-covered conveyer belt of violence and torture.

And we’re talking violence and torture that would make Itchy & Scratchy wince.

Somehow, the great John Hughes came up with a script that manages to be both a cuddly Christmas story and a slapstick comedy that goes all the way up to 11 on the painometer.

Released on November 10th 1990, Home Alone was an instant hit, and an instant Yuletide classic, the central performance of 10-year-old Macauley Culkin just the right balance of cute and cunning, whilst Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as the bungling burglars who bit off more Christmas cake than they could chew prove themselves worthy of joining Laurel & Hardy, Abbot & Costello and Varadkar & Martin as one of the greatest comedy duos of all time. Details here.

SUN10DEC23 4.30pm The Muppet Christmas Carol (UK USA G 87mins)
With Michael Caine actually turning in one of his best-ever performances as Ebenezer Scrooge, The Muppet Christmas Carol is undoubtedly one of the finest adaptations of the Charles Dickens Yuletide classic. Despite the fact that the bulk of the cast is made up of Muppets.

Released on December 11th 1992, this was the first Muppets film to be distributed by Walt Disney Pictures, and it proved to be a giant leap forward for the Jim Henson-founded company. What is surprising is that the Muppets managed to maintained the original source’s sense of good vs evil, of enlightenment vs darkness, and most of all, the pure joy of helping your fellow man. By giving them pressies. Details here.

FRI22DEC23 1pm 4.30pm 8pm Elf (USA PG 96mins)
It is, of course, the finest Christmas film ever made, this 2003 comic masterpiece delivering a perfect mix of sentimentality and hilarity whilst also confirming, once and for all, that Santa really does exist.

It’s not like an innocent elf-about-town like Buddy would ever lie to us, right…?

Having become something of a tradition in the town, the Greystones Film Club are very happy to present this year’s annual screening of Elf in the fittingly sparkling surrounds – and teeth-rattling surround-sound – of The Whale yet again. With a great big cinema screen that can truly transport, this is like going back to The Ormonde, only without the sticky floor. And the mysteriously damp seats.

So, join in the festive fun on Friday, December 22nd, as a roomful of Santa’s little helpers and yelpers capture the true spirit of Christmas. There will be thrills & spills, laughter and lumps in the throat, and whole lotta people who just won’t stop believing. Tickets here.

You can find out what else the Greystones Film Club are up to here, and check out The Whale’s full line-up right here.