From that new mini-brothel being built beside Caviston’s old place (man, all those easy-access windows will be fierce handy) to a Greystones councillor doing a good deed without posting about it on social media, sure, you never know what you might find in Greystones.
Take young Marco Petrassi, handing out down at Crispin’s Cell, minding his own beeswax, when, suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spots something darting along the ground.
Too fast to be a rodent, too rubbery to be a ferret, and too damn fast on its feet to be a skinned cat. What the frick was that?
Well, luckily for us, and for Marco (nephew to notorious animal stalker Maurice Dodd), the little critter darted back across his path once more. And this time, Marco The Explorer had his cameraphone cocked and ready.
And that’s when he saw that this strange little creature was a lizard.
A zootoca vivipara, to be precise. Or common brown lizard, if you want to be dull about it.
Still, could this be the start of a new Greystones theme park, our very own Jurassic Park, with miniature dinosaurs roaming wild around a miniature Irish castle?
Hell, when it comes to that lovely tourist moolah, we’ll take whatever we can get. So, if anyone out there has a female lizard knocking around the house, perhaps they can pretty the girl up – little lipstick, maybe a sprig of thyme behind the ear, some Brylcream for that extra shine – and we’ll see if we can start our own little lizard colony down at The Grove.
If that doesn’t quite work, instead of McDonald’s, let’s open our own local fast food joint – St Crispin’s Crispy Chordate Critters has a certain ring to it…
You can explore the wonderful St Crispin’s Cell right here