“So, I’m a Maltese, like the really popular chocolate treat. And what do these bozos call me? Buttons! Like the really popular chocolate treat.
“I’m just glad they didn’t opt for Snickers. Or Curly-Wurly. Or Kinder Egg Surprise.
“To look at them, any of the above wouldn’t have surprised me. At least with Buttons I can play the cute-as-a… line when talking to the ladies. And, man, are there some fine ladies strutting around Greystones.
“Of course, when I say ladies, I mean bitches. Hot bitches. Let’s not get weird and all inter-species here, people.
“So, a little history. I’m still pretty much fresh out of the oven, hitting one only last November – so, I’m still young, and full of hopes and dreams. I’m certainly too young to remember the old harbour, so, I don’t quite get all the wailing and gnashing of teeth that goes on every time that new marina is mentioned.
“Me, I frickin’ love the place. There’s just so much space. You can spot a cat a mile away. Literally.
“So, life is good. Damn good. And, to be honest, I love everyone. Even the two eejits who gave me the name Buttons.
“I try to be mad with them, but then, there they are, with their sweet, innocent-verging-on-gormless smiles, that undying love in their eyes, that snowy white hair coming at me from pretty much every angle, and how can I resist? It’s like living with the slightly younger Mr and Mrs Santa Claus.
“Only, the North Pole action is more than once a year in this house, if you get my drift. To look at him, you wouldn’t think the poor guy had the energy or the know-how, but old Geppeto’s got wood, and no mistake.
“Is it any wonder that the little fecker goes around smiling all the time…”
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