It was in the wee-wee hours of Friday morning that two would-be criminal masterminds decided to hit Greystones’ main street.
Only trouble is, this dynamic duo would appear to have arrived with no plan, no wits and no apparent skills.
Pulling into the car park beside Greystones Train Station, the quite-possibly pickled pair proceeded to head up town to a much-loved café.
Subtly throwing a stone through the front door glass before kicking their way through the shards and – being nice young men – picking up said stone, the duo soon realised that the till was empty. As they would have known if they had looked through that now-shattered glass.
Undeterred, they made their way to the next café, using their same patented Stone Break Glass stratagem to gain entry.
Once again, nada. Not even a scone.
And so, dejected, our dim-witted duo headed back to their motor, failing to notice on both their trek up the town and their slump back down that they were very clearly on camera the whole time.
Not only that, they were very clearly not wearing any kind of face coverings. “Always handy when you have their portraits,” was the garda’s first reaction upon watching the footage.
Whether or not one of them might have been the same guy who was accosted earlier in the day taking an angle-grinder to the bikes outside the Greystones Dart Station is yet to be confirmed.
If our failed bicycle thief isn’t one half of the thick-as-feck thieving twosome, there’s a very good chance he just might be related.
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