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Takes A Special Kind Of Arse


Whenever we stumble upon any random acts of meanness in this town, the obvious conclusion to jump to is, hey, this is the work of an arse.

Take a moment though, and, in many cases, there may well be a very good reason for a seemingly mindless, selfish act.

Such was the case this afternoon, as GG happened upon not one but two firmly packed shopping bags of rubbish, placed neatly by the path in Kindlestown Park.
Perhaps the person responsible just didn’t have enough money left over after buying all the goodies from which all these wrappers and all this packaging came from? Maybe there’s a struggle here to survive, the belief being that, hey, other people will sort this out for me whilst I get my life together…?
Then again, it could be someone suffering from the onset of blindness, and the individual involved thought they had made it that extra 200 yards to the fat-ass bin at Donnybrook Fair. Or maybe, in that fast-approaching haze and their ever-encroaching stupidity, they reckoned they’d made it all the way to the recycling centre in Bray
So, absolutely, there may actually be a sweet Disney film waiting to happen here about a sweet little ol’ Irish stereotype who’s just losing their marbles, along with their egg boxes, dirty wet wipes and half-eaten sliced pan.
Chances are though, this is the work of an arse. Plain and simple. And with perfect 20/20 vision. And these fecks operate all over town.
Whatever about not wanting to pay for your own rubbish to be taken away, or – Elvis forbid – taking all that dumb packaging to a recycling centre, this feck decided to wrap up all their filthy crap like a Christmas present, and leave it for their neighbours to sort out for them.
Not the end of the world, we know, but it’s the small details that truly make up the big picture. If you see anyone leaving their droppings around the town, we’re not asking you to run to the nearest phone to report them. We’re asking you to simply approach them, and, once having made sure they’re definitely not Disney material, slap them across the back of the head.

Hard. Twice.

Then give them the option of either eating all the evidence there and then, or making the local court report.