Need Your Ass Measured Up…?November 2, 2019
It Takes A BookshopSeptember 11, 2019
Having transformed Greystones into a woolly wonderland during the summer, the Delgany ICA gang have now inspired a rogue copycat organisation.
Launching just in time for the Christmas market, a group calling themselves The Real ICA have announced that they will be unleashing a Naughty Knitters range of OAP S&M winter warmers.
“There are more ways than one to be hot in the cold, cold winter,” offers Real ICA ringleader Bella Sherlock. “And we realised that the traditional cardigan and baggy old jumpers didn’t exactly scream come and get it. So, inspired by the great work of the Woolly Bullies, the Naughty Knitters were born…”
Designed to not only keep the elderly wearer warm during yet another life-threatening cold snap, this handcrafted OAP S&M range of saucy winter warmers are also, says Sherlock – straightening her teeth – a daring declaration of decadence and depravity for the dilapidated and decaying.
“Just because someone is old doesn’t mean they’re past it,” nods fellow Real ICA member Wendy. “The elderly like to have fun too. We just like to keep nice and warm whilst doing so…”
Bella argues that old swingers never die, “they just shrivel up a little in the cold”, whilst the Real ICA gang – who have just changed their name to I Can’t Believe It’s Not The ICA – accept that some people in Greystones will be shocked by their OAP S&M knitwear range.
“To be honest,” finishes Wendy, “that’s largely why we did. We just love the idea of the local PC brigade getting their knitters in a twist…”