My Greystones: Paula Gilbert

Once we invited Paula Gilbert along to partake in My Greystones, it didn’t take long for her memories of growing up in this small town to come flooding back.

As well as recalling a time when a cup of coffee in The Copper Kettle, a film down in the Ormonde and a curry from Cubby’s van on the way home was the height of luxury – due to the recession, that big date is now a walk, a bag of chips and two Bulmers – Paula’s Greystones childhood came flooding back. And it’s the Grade-A Greystones characters that Paula remembers most…

Hairdresser Frank Clarke bringing the army cut to the town; Tom Swan and Des Mitchell being the stars of the local Eire Og; Bill Doyle in the back of the harbour bus shelter (that might actually be a private memory not meant for sharing); the mighty Mr. Murphy selling the fags in Paddy’s Newsagent; Eamon McGrane’s TV repair shop on Hillside Road; Mary & Michael O’Reilly in the La Touche shop, selling 10p bags of deliciousness; Alana & Lucy Bell kitting the cool kids (like Paula) out in Lee’s jeans; The Shopping Basket supermarket before supermarkets truly arrived; Derek Ferns selling welly boots of a wet day, and Bob Mooney next door, selling the gas and coal; Pat & John Flynn’s shop, where you could pay at the end of the week; Angela Manwheiler shinging her torch in the upstairs of the Ormonde cinema; Cubby & Master Chef Fleming selling their Asian delights from the food van; Danny and his Cherry Blossom arriving from the Orient and changing everything; Mick Keating Snr being such a gentleman when the ladies came into the bookies for their once-a-year Grand National bet (20p each way, picked with eyes closed); whist player extraordinaire Fred Tully; the old St Killian’s Hall, home of bingo and teenage discos; The Sailing Club disco, if you were lucky enough for your boat to come in; Vincent Byrne overseeing the Rugby Club Disco Bar; The Doyles trying their darndest to keep everyone happy in The Stables; The P’n’R Disco, where love stories began; Cabanas, where they often ended; The La Touché Hotel, boasting a carvary to die for – and all for 5 pounds; Casa Rustica next door, where Mr Galligan was the host with the most; Ronnie Drew singing after a few pints in the Burnaby; Tommy Grealy mending his nets on the old harbour wall; Dick Jinks, the friendly postman; Paddy Daly delivering his batch loaf for Johnson Mooney & OBrien; John Nolan on his milk van; Jimmy Doyle delivering meat to your door, and the bould Arthur, determined to keep all the gates in Greystones firmly shut.

Of course, there are characters around the town today that would have Freud scratching his head, but jump back a two or three decades, and, sure and begorrah, Greystones would make Craggy Island look positively sane.

But what of Paula Gilbert herself, one of Greystones’ current characters? Like any true deviant, Paula plays her cards close to her fine chest. All we do know is that she’s the sole proprietor of Mum’s Taxi Unlimited, there was a time when her stain-glass-shattering voice would be heard at every wedding and funeral in the town – oh, and that she’s married to a Chippendale [see pic]. The rest of what we know about Paula, after asking a few of those old enough to have joined her in the P’n’R, Cabanas, The Rugby Club Disco Bar and beyond, well, let’s just say these stories simply aren’t fit for publication in a family newspaper such as The Greystones Guide.

Shocking stuff. Shocking, shocking stuff. And she looks so innocent…