Caffe Delle Stelle Gets A New Name

Class

aving witnessed one too many sunny and packed Happy Pear afternoons whilst he served one man and his dog on the dark side of the street, Tommaso has decided to take action.

Yep, the owner of the infamous Caffe Delle Stelle – motto: Service Without A Smile – is changing the name of his rival cafe.

Being situated almost directly across from The Happy Pear, on what can only be described as the dark side of the street, Tommaso Spenatto has decided to make the most of both his restaurant’s geographical location and his own notoriously unsunny disposition by changing the name from Caffe Delle Stelle to The Bitter Lemon.

“Those Happy Pear guys, always smiling, always laughing, always feckin’ busy,” says Tommaso, “I realised, finally, that I just can’t compete with all that industrial-strength twee. So, I’m embracing my dark side, completely. I have become The Bitter Lemon…”

The Bitter Lemon may sound like the name of an unhappy hooker, but Tommaso is undeterred. It’s a name that clearly reflects Mr. Spenatto’s no-nonsense approach, whether it’s his cafe’s stubbornly traditional menu or its owner’s stubbornly grouchy attitude towards those who’d like yet another glass of free tap water.

The recent historic win by the cafe of the Greystones’ Best Coffee 2015 vote held by the Guide also suggests that there are plenty of Greystonians out there who like a little grump with their grub.

“I make good food, and I serve good coffee,” finishes Tommaso. “If you don’t like that, you can go have your lunch in Heaton’s, for all I care.”