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How else to explain the incredible amount of drivers in this town who seem to be waiting for the moon to emit enough voltage to switch on their car lights?
We here at GG HQ feel we may have missed a town meeting, because, most evenings, it would appear Greystones has agreed to be the test location for an experimental new design in lunar-powered cars. And we reckon Matthew Wilson is behind it.
How else to explain the incredible amount of drivers in this town who seem to be waiting for the moon to emit enough voltage to switch on their car lights?
In an even further layer to this worrying conspiracy, the cars chosen are almost entirely always the same colour – the one known on the Dulux Colour Chart as Wet Irish Road At Dusk.
Yes, Greystones has more than its fair share of eejits who like to drive around in their stealth cars, intent on being invisible to the rest of the town once that sun goes down. Despite the fact that Every Other Car They Pass has their lights on, these cunning submarine captains will motor on, oblivious, it seems, to the fact that they are but a shadow in the night. A shadow that can 
maim and kill, or maybe just propel the odd pedestrian over a hedge.
Yes, Greystones has more than its fair share of eejits who like to drive around in their stealth cars, intent on being invisible to the rest of the town once that sun goes down. Despite the fact that Every Other Car They Pass has their lights on, these cunning submarine captains will motor on, oblivious, it seems, to the fact that they are but a shadow in the night. A shadow that can 
maim and kill, or maybe just propel the odd pedestrian over a hedge.If you fear that you may be one of these dark and mysterious eejits, here are 7 simple steps to help you become a helpful, law-abiding, non-lethal member of the Greystones community.
No.1: If you can see even just one star in the sky, TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS.
No.2: If you can no longer tell the difference between the road and the sky, TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS.
No.3: If every other car has their beamers on, TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS.
No.3: If every other car has their beamers on, TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS.No.4: If the sun has set down below your dashboard’s horizon line, TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS.
No.5: If you can’t quite make out where your dashboard is in the encroaching dark, TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS.
No.6: If you’re having trouble reading the captions on the paparazzi shots in Have A Crap magazine, TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS.
No.7: If you’re not quite able to grasp any, or all, of these five simple rules, leave your lights on AT ALL TIMES. You might as well leave your hazard lights on too, whilst you’re at it.
So, next time you’re out for a late evening spin, and everyone you pass keeps flashing their lights at you, it’s possibly not because you’re super-duper-popular in Greystones. It’s far more likely that you’ve forgotten to turn on your lights again.
Which means you’re actually super-duper-dim. Literally.
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1 comment
So funny. Was walking down the hill on a past evening as a car continuously beeped it’s horn at the car in front – gently reminding the driver to TURN THEIR LIGHTS ON – obviously the lead driver was DEAF!! So glad the streets are well lit. Cyclists please wear glow- the- dark garb as I nearly killed a guy who decided to do a u turn at the station, at night in the rain. Cyclists are difficult to spot ( and imagine if my car lights had not been on!!! )