Bray Doesn’t Give A Feck About Fashion

Bray Promenade 1970s

f course, as soon as Penneys hits town on July 18th, fashion won’t be a problem in sunny Bray…

Everyone will be wearing the best that €5 can buy, and be damn happy with their shiny new boots and panties too.

But for now, a just-published survey suggests that Bray is the least fashionable town in Ireland.

Based on the fact that when it came to Google searches for such words as ‘summer dress’, ‘demin skirt’ and ‘flare jeans’, people in Bray just aren’t interested.

They just want to know ‘When is The Cliff Walk reopening?’ and, more importantly, ‘What the feckin’ feck is taking Penneys so long?!!‘.

The survey was conducted by plus-sized fashion experts Zizzifashion.com, and was put together not so much as an act of social enlightenment as an act of spreading awareness of plus-sized fashion expects Zizzifashion.com.

Other search words they looked for were ‘Louis Vuitton bag‘, ‘mini dress‘ and ‘maxi skirt‘, but once again, Bray came bottom of the pile for such queries, with only 563 searches out 10,000 hitting any such fashion question marks.

Not far behind was Waterford, with 578 per 10,000 searches, Cork third with 603 and Navan fourth, with 619.

Greystones actually came in fifth, alongside Dundalk, in the list of Least Trend-Chasing Towns In Ireland, with 701 out 10,000 searches going anywhere near the catwalk.

On the other end of the spectrum – and a passion for a fashion is definitely on the spectrum – sits Cavan, with 1,510 out of 10,000 searches looking for high street hotness, the average across the country being 928. Not too far behind is Ballina, Co Mayo, with 1,431 per 10,000 searches, and then Kildare, with 1,391.

An embarrassed spokesperson behind the mildly ridiculous survey said that any town performing poorly on the fashion front was all down to “a lack of shopping centres“.

So, who knows where our neighbours may land by the end of the year, as Bray Central becomes the thrifty fashionista’s favourite hang-out for our Summer Of Gloves.