Greystones was at the centre of a retailing storm today when a local woman made it through the Tesco self-service checkout without a single hold-up.
In doing so, the stunned shopper also managed to pass through this notoriously difficult procedure in under 10 minutes, breaking the previously-held record of 2 hours and 17 minutes.
It all started innocently enough, as Dolly Mixture (87), of The Bellevue Home For The Faintly Bewildered, swung by the local Tesco supermarket this afternoon for her daily shop.
“It’s a daily shop I’ve done a million times before,” said the clearly still-shaken pensioner. “I was just getting half a haddock for me dinner, and a can of tuna for me cat, Mrs Doubtfire, and had braced myself for the usual automated calls of ‘Unexpected item in baggage area’ or ‘Go wake the assistant – that barcode is bollox’, when it just happened…
“I put my four items through. They each registered a price. I put them in the baggage area. I hit the Finish & Pay button, and then I paid. And that was it. No delays. No message. No waiting.
“I actually stood there for about 2 minutes, just to make sure. And by that time, as other shoppers realised what had just happened, a small crowd had gathered round.”
Even as she posed for photos, Dolly wasn’t entirely sure that she wasn’t dreaming, and can be seen pinching herself, and those around her, as shots began to appear on social media.
“When I went home and told Mrs Doubtfire,” says Ms Mixture, “he just couldn’t believe it either. He hasn’t touched his tuna & chips all day. That’s how shocked he is.”
A spokesperson for Tesco responded to the news by stating that the retail giant had always held onto the belief that one day someone would actually make it through their self-service checkouts without delays. Or swearing.
“It’s a proud, proud day for Tesco,” said Peter Palpatine, Head of Tesco Marketing Worldwide. “People mocked us when we first introduced self-checkouts back in 2003. People laughed at us, as, again and again, the machines just didn’t work. Then the t-shirts, bearing the slogan ‘Unexpected Item In Baggage Area’, began to pop up, but we held our ground.
“And now, 13 years later, our faith in self-checkout has been rewarded. Finally.