“Firstly, let’s get all the two most obvious jokes out of the way…
“No, I can’t get you discounts on Dulux paints, and, no, I’m not a short-haired pointer. Okay?”
“Actually, talking of short-haired pointers, you had the crush of my life, Bruno, on your throwaway rag there not so long ago. Jiminy, there’s something about that fella that gets my paint roller going, if you know what I mean. I’m drawn to those Luke Kelly-looking dogs, for some reason.
“Actually, talking of short-haired pointers, you had the crush of my life, “Deep down, I think I must like the idea of a bit of ruff. Must get that from your one here, Sarah.
“Great kid, by the way, and she knows how to treat a fine English sheep dog like me well. Mainly by taking me to the woods. And the beach. And just about anywhere else that my little paws desire. Great woman.
“And that ultra-cute Helen in the buggy? Heck, she’s like a little sister to me. Was worried when she came along, to be honest, that little old me – at the tender age of 2 – would suddenly become old news, but, if anything, the love all around has grown stronger.
“And that’s because, you know, we’re strong women. We are family. I’ve got my two sisters here, and, most importantly, me!
“So, life in this little slice of dog heaven you call Greystones is pretty darn fine.