The Great Irish Feck Off

Billy Connolly is right about TV production crews…

They’re a nervous, sweaty-palmed bunch, eager, on the one hand, to become the next Kurosawa or Tarantino, but scared to bejaysus on the other about upsetting the pampered cat in front of the camera.

And Paul Hollywood must indeed be feeling pampered these days. He’s the only one of the Great British Bake Off cast to remain with the hugely popular TV series as it moves from the BBC to Channel 4 in a £75m, three-year deal.

When GG heard that Mr Hollywood was filming in Delgany’s Firehouse Bakery this morning, we naturally packed up our trusty dog and loyal camera, and headed south. Along the way, we met The Man Who Knows Everything, namely Shay Clear.

Shay didn’t know that Paul Hollywood was in Delgany today. Or, indeed, who Paul Hollywood is.

As we approached with our middle-of-the-range camera phone cocked and ready, the production crew outside The Delgany (what a ridiculous name) grew instantly uneasy. As we stepped inside, the flurry of whispers grew louder.

Over in the far corner, there was the man himself, Paul Hollywood, looking calm and resplendent, like a young Kenny Rogers having just made the move from psychedelia to country.

Our mission was simple. A quick shot of the celebrity baker, and maybe even a question. Namely, given the ferocious success of The Great British Bake Off, how does Paul feel about all these strange women throwing their pastries at him? And has the married father of one ever been tempted by a fresh filling, or has he had his fill of jammy tarts?

But Tarquin is having none of it. “We’re too busy right now,” he flusters, as Crawford nods in agreement behind him. “Far too busy…”

Over Tarquin’s shoulder, Paul Hollywood was scratching his beard. And looking at the produce on the Firehouse Bakery shelf behind him. Very busy.

In Wicklow to shoot his new baking show, and to headline The Olympia Theatre on November 17th, there’s every chance that this 50-year-old Cheshire cat is a real charmer. It’s just that, surrounded, as most celebrities are these days, by Yes men whose job is largely to say No to everyone else, it’s pretty difficult to find out.

This wouldn’t have happened if I’d said I was from the BBC. Then again… 

You can grab tickets for Paul Hollywood: Get Your Bake On at the Olympia on Monday November 17th here.