Greystones Firemen Threaten Nude Calendar

Watch those buttons!

he Greystones Fire Brigade gang have come up with a surefire way to raise some much-needed funds for charity this Christmas.

A little Ray of sunshine

Namely, a nude 2022 calendar with a very clever twist.

That twist being, the less you pay, the more you see.

Wiggum to the wescue

Not so much a Christmas treat as a Christmas threat, this novel blackmail approach looks set to be a runaway success for the big-hearted, very-big-boned Greystones unit, given that many who witnessed their topless car wash down at the town’s harbour during the summer later confessed to spending much of their time frantically dressing the lads with their eyes.

“You get a lot of pound for your buck when it comes to us fine specimens,” said station chief Paddy “I’m A Fireman!” Wiggum. “And we feel that the good people of Greystones will pay good money not to see those pounds.”

The Summer of Loaf

With a target total of €10,000, donations will no doubt start flooding in over the coming days. And if that total is not realised, the Greystones Firemen Calendar 2022 will be in SuperValu on Christmas Eve.

“We have little doubt that we’re going to hit that target,” says Wiggum, “and maybe even double it. Which would be great, as the money will be split equally between two very worthy local causes.

“Namely, Greystones Cancer Support and our December tab at Gino’s Gelato.”