“The trouble is, people think us Pomeranians are just Chihuahuas on steroids, or battery-operated puppy toys who spend all their days doing backflip after backflip, but, those people are wrong.
“We’re actually descended from large sled dogs, but we just realised that, hey, size really doesn’t matter. It’s all about strength.
“And when I say strength, I mean strength of character, of course. My kick could hardly lift a kitten off the ground.
“So, yeah, us Pomeranians, we’re basically Joe Pesci in dog form. Only cuter. And tougher. And with better hair.
“And just like Joe Pesci, we Pomeranians like to play our cards close to our chest. So, the name’s Charlie, I love the South Beach, and I love this hot broad I’m with too.