“The main thing you got to remember about me is, I’m bigger than you. Always.
“One good bound from me, and you’ll be pinned to the floor. For life. You may even be buried, if I land just right.
“The name’s Poppy, and I’m an English Mastiff. Yep, Mastiff by name, Mastiff by nature. Although, to be honest, it’s more Poppy by name, Poppy by nature with me.
“See my little sister in the pic here? That’s Tilly. And, well, Tilly rules the roost back home. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve headed to my nice big, cosy sack only to find Tilly is already there. Which leaves me with her shoebox of a bed to squeeze into.
“On the plus side, we’re two very lucky rescue dogs who get to rule the roost in Greystones, running along the beaches for miles on end. For Christmas, we had been hoping Simon here would get me a saddle, so Tilly can be carried around like the Queen Bee that she is, but I guess we’ll have to wait for a birthday now.
“So, yeah, I may be a pushover, but, you know, I wouldn’t recommend you make any kind of big deal about that. Every pushover has to land somewhere, after all, and your big, fat head is looking lovely and soft to me right now…”