It’s The Way They Tell ‘Em

Would you buy a used sausage off these men?

ainly for legal reasons, they don’t make ’em like the Farrelly brothers anymore.

Two lads lost in time, their skills as butchers peerless and timeless, their jokes rooted firmly in the early-to-mid-1970s.

We’re talking Benny Hill. With a touch of On The Buses, Confessions Of An X-Rated Butcher and a splash of Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown. With maybe just a dash of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, to reflect the wide-eyed innocence of it all.

When we swung by earlier in the week, talk turned to Valentine’s Day, and everyone’s chat-up lines of choice.

Given that it’s Valentine’s, we thought we might as well share the lad’s deep wisdom and understanding when it came to the fine art of the pick-up line. The brothers’ wilderness years as Cabana’s barmen obviously hasn’t go to waste.

Naturally, being Anthony & Padraig’s Laugh-In, it didn’t take long for the air to turn blue. Then red. Then puce. And then blue again.

So, be warned, my fat friends – the jokes you are about to hear are sweetly unvarnished, brazenly non-PC and naively crude. Just like granddad used to make.

Which is what a visit to Delgany’s favourite sausage factory is all about, of course.

Besides, for no apparent reason, Anthony decided to sport a wig this afternoon. And, bejiggers, we think he may have finally found his look…

Naturally, we take no responsibility for the jokes above. You can indulge in more Farrellys nonsense right about here.