“The name’s Nala, as in The Lion King’s better half – because, as we all know, the Lab Husky mix is pretty much the closest thing the dog kingdom has to a lionhearted leader of mutts. So, pretty much royalty, my friend. And I should be treated as such.
“Which is why, to be honest with you, I’m not entirely sure about this Roche family of mine.
“Sure, they’re loving, and they’re fun, and they’ve got a warm, comfortable home for me to rule, but I’m not entirely convinced that they have the smarts for a dog like me. Like the other day, the boy, Tighearnan [which is Scrabble for Tiernan], took me for a run. That never ended. About five hours in, I had to let him know that this just wasn’t on. So, given that my human vocabulary isn’t all that great, I attacked him. Just a few friendly snaps, nothing life-threatening, but, sweet Mufasa, what was he thinking? We ran so much, I nearly hakuned my tatas!
“Luckily, the household is mainly girls, so my life isn’t in too much danger. There’s Joan here, trying in vain once again to control me, and then there’s the young ones, Ellen and Katie – my favourites – and the lovely Rebecca. As to the big chef of the house, Dave, who knows what’s going on there exactly – they keep saying he’s a man, but, you know, the walk says bitch to me. I blame all that puff pastry.
“So, yeah, if people could maybe bow, or do some kind of curtsy, when they see me, I think that would help. Otherwise, you know, I’m liable to set Tighearnan on ’em.”