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As any Greystonian will tell you, there are many, many attractions in this rather beautiful seaside town of ours.

Such as, of course, the sea, and all the daily Kodak moments that come with that.

There’s also our fine array of award-winning restaurants, from the happy clappy Flynnstones to the slap-happy Joe Sweeney. The fact that you could spend your day simply café-hopping, eating cake and people watching, is a plus too. As is the chance to meet Elvis and chew the considerable fat.

There’s also Burnaby Park (or, as it’s known by Google, Lying Down), that kick-ass South Beach Playground, our deep history, Ireland’s tallest man, Ireland’s grumpiest man, Ireland’s first-ever planned estate, our 160-year-old railway line, our swingers club, the castles, the Sugar Loaf Way, the 250-year-old Dann’s pub, the Delgany Fairy Trail, Belmont Demesne, Trump’s local roots, the World War 2 Éire sign, and, of course, The Cliff Walk, recently voted Ireland’s Sexiest Local Attraction.

All of which makes The 5 Best Things To Do In Greystones as recommended by the fine readers of Trip Advisor all the more, well, arse.

Sure, there are some obvious choices – such as our Blue Flag Beach and The Whale theatre, but, what’s that sitting pretty at no.2 in The 5 Best Things To Do In Greystones? Eh, Zoom Adventure Park, over in Charlesland Leisure Park.

And at no.4, it’s Greystones Antiques, a fine day out for all the family, followed swiftly by the Meridian Point mini-shopping mall and the Holy Rosary Church.

Eh, BOOM…?

The 5 Best Things To Do In Greystones actually goes all the way up to 7, mainly because, as you can see by Trip Advisor’s list, there’s just so much to do. Such as starting your magical visit to Greystones by dropping your kids off at Zoom, buying an antique bowler hat and a new Adidas tracksuit before settling down to morning mass.

Still, our favourite has got to be no.7 – Holmsdale. Which happens to be a private house on Church Road, filed by Trip Advisor under their Nature & Parks section.

Well, there’s one for the bucket list.

You can check out Trip Advisor’s handy cut-out-and-throw-away guide to Greystones here. And you can tell them to go stuff it here.