Who’s Tearing Our Playhouses Down…?

Whoever the little shits happen to be, they are, of course, simply bored, and misunderstood, and just angry because they get blamed for everything around here.

Just ask their defiant, defensive, forever-in-denial parents.

With both the Little Tern playground in Kilcoole and the South Beach playground in Greystones suffering increasingly regular latenight bouts of vandalism, it might just be time these particular little rascals were outed.

The most recent act of stupidity happened just this week, in Greystones, when the shiny metal cajon in the music circle was forced apart, leaving sharp, dangerous, child-height edges.

In the past two weeks, the rubber covers on protruding bolts and metal fixtures have been removed, to once again leave behind sharp, dangerous, child-height edges and spikes. 

Which really makes you wonder about the kind of people we’re dealing with.

Over in Kilcoole, the vandalism got to the point that the playground is now closed at night, with local volunteers locking and unlocking Little Tern. In Greystones, locking the playground isn’t an option, given the low fencing along the South Beach side. Instead, new cameras are about to be introduced to add to the one already covering the Greystones Municipal District offices’ end of the playground.

Given that much of the damage caused involves the vandals having to bring tools with them, it would be safe to say that these hateful acts are not merely random acts of c**tness. These are very much premeditated acts of c**tness.

These playgrounds cost €500,000 to build, with many of the wonderful features bought in from outside of Ireland. Meaning that, to replace or repair them can take weeks, if not months. And each time, that costs money.

The damage in Little Tern to date has included the basket swing, the truck rocker, the playhouse, the swims, the railings and the solar bin. In Greystones, the damage done includes the rope bridge, the sandpit digger, the wooden playhouse and the musical equipment.

Until those extra cameras arrive, let’s be extra-vigilant, people. Verging on vigilante. If you see anything suspicious, simply call the local Garda station, on 016665800. Should you find any damage, you can let the local municipal district office know, on 012876694.

If, by chance, you should happen upon anyone committing these cruel, ugly acts of vandalism, feel free to kick forty shades of shit out of them. And then call the Gardaí.