Welcome To Peasantville

Useless feck!

h, what a great place Greystones is to visit for a fun, relaxing holiday…

Just step off the train, and a whole world of wonder is right there to explore, embrace and enjoy.

All you have to do is check out the town’s handy map and tourist attraction guide mounted right outside the station door, and off you go!

You can visit our beautiful Mount Usher Gardens. Or hang out in our stunning, stately Kilruddery estate. Or why not check out our incredible Powerscourt waterfall and gardens? Or the Palladian mansion that is Russborough House, described as ‘the most beautiful house in Ireland‘?

And if that doesn’t get your little tourist heart a-flutterin’, there’s our 1,000-year-old Glendalough round tower, our 1,644-foot Great Sugar Loaf mountain, or the birthplace of Charles Stewart Parnell, and local landmark, Avondale House.

Only trouble is, eh, Greystones has none of the above. Nor does it boast the Brennanstown Riding School, or the Enniskerry Victorian Field Day, nor the Mermaid Arts Centre, the Harbour Bar or, eh, the Bray Golf Club.

Nor do we have anyone, anything or any place resembling the little old lady [right] being kidnapped by two Mediterranean hunks whilst a crowd of strangers cheer her on her impending death. There’s not even one recognisable face in that picture. And the street they’re prancing on is plainly from out of town too.

That’s what you get when the local council hire out the town’s noticeboard to the highest bidder – a one-size-fits-all Wicklow guide so the owner can sell lots and lots and lots of ad space.

It also means that any visitors to Greystones looking to figure out the town’s attractions aren’t actually told about a single one of them. Not even The Happy Pear gets a mention here.

The sooner we get that noticeboard back in town hands, the better.

In the meantime, poor, unsuspecting tourists will just have to settle on the Guide to discover all our Greystones grooviness…